RAY BARTHOLOMEW PLAYER COLUMN – ROUND 3

A WEST Perth premiership player will be writing a column for the club's website every week of the 2014 WAFL season. This week's edition is Ray Bartholomew's first offering.

A WEST Perth premiership player will be writing a column for the club's website every week of the 2014 WAFL season. This week's edition is Ray Bartholomew's first offering.

IN TERMS of footy, becoming a father has been good because it kind of gives me that outlet to get away from the game, and not think about it too much when I get home. The best thing for me is that I come home from footy and no matter how good or bad of a day I have had, Elexis doesn’t care how good or bad I've played, or if we have won or lost. She always has a big smile on her face and it makes you realise that there is so much more to life than footy.

As I have got older as well and I guess I am classified as a veteran now, life isn't footy, footy, footy all the time. I have to also think about my family and life outside of footy because at the end of the day you only have so many years to go before footy is over and then you have the rest of your life to still live.

Having Elexis around even now also makes me enjoy my footy even more and the fact that she is at an age now where she can come to the footy and chills out. I get to play with her before the game and it totally takes my mind off the game of footy instead of coming to the game, and stressing about the job I have to do. I can be relaxed with Elexis and then all of a sudden switch my focus to footy and go into that zone when that time is right with Bill and the boys.

The other positive is that I can live my life through the younger guys so it's good to come to training and find out what they got up to on Saturday night. I am at home with Claire and Elexis most of the time even though I do try to go out every now and then, but being a dad my family comes first. Usually after a game, I go home and read Elexis a book, put her bed and then spend a bit of time with my wife and then it's off to bed, and up Sunday morning for recovery.

The good thing about Sunday morning is that Elexis does come with me and she just hangs out with Bill's daughter so that works out well. Grace is a bit older so she can look after Elexis while I go and do my recovery, and then we go off and spend time together over a coffee or whatever afterwards.

I think it has been a really positive change for my life and fatherhood has made me more mature as a person off the field, and everyone it is a lot of responsibility being a father. Yes it is, but you also need your down time and that's where my family and Elexis especially is a big part of that.

Going back to finding out we were having a baby I was over the moon. Words can't really describe that feeling but I had to double-check with Claire who is now my wife and made her take another test just to make sure. I then started doing the calculations and it was going to be due in September so my initial reaction was wondering what day it was going to be due. At that stage, it was meant to be around September 20 so it was around grand final day.

Even though our season hadn’t started yet, I was thinking that if we made the grand final I might either have to miss the birth or miss out on being there for the grand final. Other than that, I was just so excited that I was going to be a dad and made me really start to think about life away from footy. I was thinking about how my off-season that year would consist of no sleep and changing lots of nappies with the newborn but you can't really be prepared for it.

We played out the season and then we lost in the prelim that year to Subi so we didn’t have to worry about the grand final dilemma. We had the Sandover on the Monday and then on the Wednesday it was time for Claire to go in and have the baby, and Elexis was born. Even though it was a disappointing end to the season, that finished and a new chapter in our lives began.

At least the season was over and it allowed me to completely focus on Claire and Elexis, and take it all in. if I have learned anything, those few weeks of being a new parent I believe are the best few weeks of your life because you will never get that time again with your baby being that size. You just embrace it and enjoy it, and the whole part of becoming a dad has so many thrills and joys.

It is scary now seeing how quickly how she has grown up. The fact that I now have a two and-a-half year old in the house along with my wife, there are two girls in the house who tell me what to do so I have really lucked out there. The time has gone so quick over the last two and-a-half years, and Elexis is no longer that little baby who you have to pick up all the time. She is a little person basically bossing me around and it's scary how quickly the time goes, but I am enjoying it.

At the same time, the older she is getting is the older I am getting also but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I always told Claire that I wanted to have kids while I was still playing footy so they could enjoy their dad playing footy or see him doing it because not many guys get to experience that. Most guys tend to have kids after footy but to have Elexis when I was 26 and she will three in September, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The hardest part at the moment is that she wants to come to training all the time, but she is a little bit too young for that. She comes to the games, though, and hangs out at the footy and probably by this time next year she will be able to come down to training to be part of that. I do cherish all the time I get with her because she is always excited to see me. Claire recently said to me that when I do retire, it won't be because of my body but because I want to spend more time with my kid or kids if we have more by that stage.

Claire has begun asking how long I think I can play for and I don’t know what the answer to that is. I always thought I would keep going until my body has had enough, but if and when we have another kid that might change that. I won't make any decisions until that time comes though.

It has also been good seeing a few of my teammates became fathers in the past year or so. The younger guys like to tell us we are part of the old boys club – last year there was four with myself, Sala, Keuns and Dan Hunt and now there are three of us left. When we talk about our kids, the young blokes have no idea what we are talking about but it's good that we can chat about what is happening with our kids. Also, Elexis is a bit older so I try to pass on some advice of what I have learned over my two and-a-half years as a father.

The end of last year was also a memorable one for us. Not only did I win the premiership, but then on October 12 myself and Claire got married at Sittella Winery so it has been a big couple of years. Obviously with the birth of Elexis and now finally getting married to my long-term girlfriend Claire. I guess we have been together for 11 years in the March just gone and married now for six months. Nothing much really has changed, it's just a ring on the finger.

I already had to be responsible as a father so I have been trying to act my age even though I tell all the young blokes I am still 21 at heart. That's where footy is good too and I can come to the footy club, leave work and everything else behind me, and just be myself. We have guys like Nelly who is 21 and I'm 29, but I still believe when I come to play footy I'm still a kid and I think us older blokes getting along really well with the younger blokes.

I couldn’t be happier with how it has all turned out and having Claire and Elexis at home waiting for me, is the best thing that could have happened.

BY RAY BARTHOLOMEW